Birthday Wishes

Frankie turned 10 on August 10th. His birthday was one of the things that had caused us to first know of him. That is the same birthday shared with my dad. It's with mixed emotions that we face the day, missing my dad so much, but so excited for Frankie to have his special day. This birthday was the first time he has ever gotten to celebrate his birthday. He told us it was the first time he ever got a birthday present or cake. He was so excited! He wanted an ice cream cake that had vanilla and strawberry ice cream and a soccer ball on it. Josh had helped me pick out his birthday gift. We started the day off with a little bit of a struggle when he opened his gift and started saying "why did you get me this?! this is not what I wanted!" I watched Joshua's face drop. He was so excited for Frankie to open the present thinking he had gotten exactly what he wanted. Well, I have to say it started out rough, but was all up hill after that. The day turned out great. Joshua worked hard at making sure his brother's first birthday was the best. They love each other. Frankie was disappointed that "father" wasn't going to be home for his birthday. We tried explaining that life on a tugboat can be hard and that dad would sometimes miss out on a lot of great things he wishes he could be here for. He was so cute in making sure there was cake saved for Michael. He was very serious when it was time to sing and blow out the candles. I caught his expression in a few pictures and was curious about it but never asked. As days went by, I kept making a note of how well each day seemed to be going,  commenting on how much fun we were having. At night, I love tucking my kids in. I even dreamed about getting to tuck Frankie in once he was home. Well, it hasn't gone the way I had dreamed it would. Matter of fact, most nights he refuses to get in the bed, rather he kind of lays side ways with his head hanging off one side and his legs hanging off the other. He knows it kind of bothers me, cause I never get to see him looking cozy in the bed like the other kids. I make a comment about how it doesn't look comfortable , but I let him be. I know this is a ridiculous thing. Well, all of a sudden when I checked on him to say good night, he's was in the bed. I let him know how happy it made me to see him looking so comfy in his bed, and he has continued. So, now, what happened yesterday. (I am still very emotional). Frankie is always talking. He is very much a chatter box. He asks questions about everything and just talks pretty much non stop. All in english I have to add, because I think that is just amazing. But yesterday in the middle of everything, he says to me, "Have I been good? The last few days have things been good with me?" I stopped everything to look at him and answer him, "Yes,... yes, it's been great." He said, "That was my wish on my birthday when I blew out my candles." My eyes filled up with tears immediately. I was so.... actually I still don't know what to say. I don't know if I was sad because that was his wish, or happy because he cared, or just totally moved that that had come from his heart. He cared, and he let me know he cared. And then he actually held my hand. The other day we were out and some one slipped their hand in to mine as we were walking. I just figured it was one of the other kids....and when I looked it was Frankie! He hadn't done that since shortly after coming home. These moments make me cry. I am just so happy we are starting to have them! Maybe he's going to start to like me after all. :) I'm feeling very hopeful.