With a fresh cup of coffee in hand I am determined to bring this blog up to the present.  I would have to say one of the toughest things we have dealt with, is something I don't remember giving any thought to at all. I focused all my thoughts on how I was going to love Frankie and build him up, make up for lost time. He arrived seeming very confident and sure of himself and his new surroundings. I prepared for possible tantrums and behaviors. Didn't see any of that. What I didn't give much thought to was discipline. I can not believe how difficult it is to try to discipline a child through a translator or with a language barrier. I have to discipline him. He can not be allowed to be mean with out correction. But oh boy is it difficult, extremely time consuming and frustrating. When disciplining my children I put a lot of effort and thought into my choice of words. Well, that takes on a whole new meaning when half the time you don't even know what the translator is actually saying. That has probably been the single most difficult thing. Although his language has come a long, long way, we still struggle in this area.  And we have been dealing with the struggles involved in religious beliefs. I have been confronted many times with the screams from my other children that Frankie is bowing to statues, or telling them that flying monkeys are god. He has felt it is his job to teach his siblings about what he considers to be god. Which is very opposite who we know as God. Whewwww!  That's all I can say about that. Now personality differences. Before I say this, please take into account I am in the middle of this at this time, and emotions can run high. It's a struggle. It can be very challenging. But not with out hope. And I never question where we are. I know beyond a doubt this was God's plan. I know we are suppose to be a family. I wanted this child home more than anything in the world. I am so grateful for all the miracles and people that got him here and made this a reality. At times I see glimpses of what will be. I think I wasn't aware previously of the possibility that God could have a plan of doing a work in Michael and I, and I guess the kids too, that we were not aware of. I believe Frankie learned certain behaviors through life in the orphanage. He is very strong. Thank goodness. Other wise I don't know how he could have survived what he needed to. He looks out for himself. He never learned what it meant to be part of a family. This includes always putting himself first. Taking the biggest and best of all food, toys, and what ever else is put before the children. I have adjusted how we serve meals, and have provided for him to have great amounts of food. We have revamped how we do most things. Yet it can still be difficult. The kids get upset, and have a hard time understanding why he doesn't think like a team, and only looks out for himself, at a cost to them. Being an adult that understands where this is coming from, it can still be difficult when you are in the midst of it. So I totally get it and understand why the kids are having a tough time with this. He also tends to try to play family members against each other, and will try to get others in trouble or upset. I think that is how you got ahead in the orphanage. Where as my kids that I have raised since birth or shortly after do not understand the "the throw the other under the bus" mentality, so they are hurt by these behaviors. We work daily on reminding him to not say words that will tear someone down, but rather choose words that will build up. I think he is so use to doing this he doesn't even realize how often he says things that hurt. Other times he seems to enjoy that he has that power to do so. He also has the power to build, but so far he uses that in a manipulative way. There is hope in the midst of the storm. There are glimpses of what can be. He loves being part of a family. He never thinks about going back. Doesn't want to. Thank you God. He has amazing survival skills. He can adapt to all situations. I have taken for granted all the years of building qualities in my children, I am so proud of them. I see the difference God has made in their lives. And I know He will do the same in Frankie's. I wish it was going to happen over night. But I realize that is a ridiculous thought. We are making up for almost 10 years. I am very grateful to be given this opportunity. I am grateful beyond belief that God has chosen us to take this journey. Growth is never without struggle. God has a plan. Michael and I didn't give a thought to the possibility that God would be causing us to grow as well. This has been a very humbling journey. I have become very aware of my short comings. I have been out right disappointed in myself at times. I have admitted, "I had no idea I could be this immature". Well, God is pulling those things out, piece by piece. Frankie is not the only one going through God's perfecting fire. We are where we are suppose to be. And we are in His hands.